Bloom where you are planted.
I’ve heard this phrase hundreds of times, mostly used as a piece of advice whenever someone has undergone a big transition or wanting to pursue a big transition in their life.
I have never really moved in my entire life – I grew up in Fayetteville, Arkansas and have lived their my whole life (with the exception of that one big year long move to every airport and hotel in the country, but we will just call my Miss A year a gap year). My first and only big move was my recent move to Kanas City, Missouri, and it has taken me about 8 months to really feel like I a blooming where I am planted.
Whether it is from the unknown, the uncomftiness, or the insecurity, transitions into new seasons of life can often make us feel like we are living life on the defense, which creates a worry and fearful life. But hi, no. We are here trying to live our best lives, so lets talk about ways we can live life on the offense during traditional seasons.
Force yourself to get connected.
This one may be the hardest, but probably the most crucial one. Forcing yourself to interact and make friends as an adult feels near impossible. But the best way to do it, is to try. Reminder, everyone feels the exact same way; kinda awkward but also really wanting to have adult friends. DM people to go get coffee, find a bible study, plug into a yoga studio or gym, reach out to people who are a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend. I am not saying it is that easy… I remember when I first moved to KC, Nate told me about a bible study and encouraged me to go. I was terrified and did not want to walk into a home not knowing a soul, but holy shalaylay, I am so glad I did. Eight months later these girls know me and my life so well, send memes to each other, and have made my heart feel so at home here in KC. Yes it takes a few months, but the first step to close, encouraging, life giving friendships is just showing up.
Go explore and find a place that feels like home.
Finding places and activities to became emotionally invested in is key. I tried lots of different workout classes to find out which ones are my favorites, went to lots of coffee shops to find out which ones I love the most (and which ones serves the best coffee), found which walking route has the best flowers in downtown, and what makes me love where I am right now. This in itself could be its own blog post, but I think one of the reasons why it is hard to “bloom where we are planted” is because of social media. We are in a constant state of comparing our lives to the “feeds” and “posts” of others, and when this goes unchecked it creates a very ungrateful life. Which leads to a very anxious life.
“You can not be grateful and anxious at the same time.”
When we make the effort to have our social media filled with people and post that uplift us, and find beauty and gratitude in what we have in the everyday, while keeping ourselves accountable, it is so much easier to find contentment and true joy in our lives.
Give yourself grace.
SO. DANG. IMPORTANT. I remember a few months ago I got so frustrated with myself for multiple things: not feeling like I was fitting it, feeling like I needed to try harder, but mostly upset that I was still feeling the uncomftiness that transitions bring. This becomes a vicious cycle of being anxious about feeling insecure, and then being more insecure about being anxious. Welcome to adulthood. A few things that I have had to remind myself of everyday are:
- There is no timeline on when you should start feeling confident in a new season of life.
- You do not have to figure it out. No body does.
A lie I believed for a very long time was that if I did not feel a thousand percent confident or if I was in a season of life where I didn’t know what was next, that meant I was failing. More specifically, if I didn’t feel like I was “succeeding” in a transition, I would get very frustrated at myself. No, no, no. Give yourself grace. Give yourself kindness. Look back to a year ago and be proud of how far you have grown. Look back at trials you have gone through and be your own hype man, or read this: YAS QUEEN LOOK AT YOU. LOOK AT HOW FAR YOU HAVE COME. YOU DID THAT. YOU DID. And I am so proud of you. Yes, this is hard, but you’ve got this. Also, go listen to Lizzo.
So much love,